Several years ago my friend remarried someone they had known for a long time. They had forged a good friendship and when they both were divorced, they decided to date.
When they were courting there were some red flags, but she later admitted that she ignored them. The pluses seemed to outweigh the minuses in the relationship. He was pretty easy going it seemed. He didn't appear to have a problem with the close friendship that I had with her. Everything seemed ok. The bliss and the courtship was there. They had a beautiful wedding.
The wedding was fabulous. Many of their friends and family attended. It was by far the best wedding that I ever attended.I was very happy for them. I wanted her to be happy in life and it looked like this was going to take place for them. But there is an old saying, count the costs before you take on an endeavor and this situation started to erode.
There had been a few issues that she knew were there. Both had a boy and a girl, teenagers to deal with.The biggest problem was that she raised her two much more strictly than he raised his. So when issues of discipline and rules came out, there was friction.
Quite honestly that is something that we all need to consider if we meet someone. How will the kids affect our relationship? Are we on the same page with our beliefs and approach to life. This is very important.
The beginning of the end was when all off a sudden he wanted her to dress differently and became jealous of her friends.There were times the tension was so big that you could cut it with a knife. They would go to parties and if he noticed a man looking at her, he was jealous and blamed her.
What was lost in this was, she had come with him. She had chosen to marry him and that was not good enough. They went to counseling and he kept blaming her, even though all the counselors were telling him that he was the one with the illogical issues.
He ended up leaving. She tried hard to make it work and it could not. What I want to point out here is the failure is a trust issue. In this case a man not comfortable enough in his own skin to trust someone who loved him. There were two sides to this. But the main thing is know the person. Know what the main issues would be before you marry them. Reconsider all red flags and how you can or if you even can deal with them. If you can not, yet feel you can over look them, you are wrong. Honesty begins with yourself. If you can not do that, you will usually fail or just be miserable succeeding.
THINK IT ALL OVER !!!
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