The christian divorce
facts for a bad marriage are: God is for divorce when needed,
remarriage is right, a bad or wrong marriage is good to get out of, and
God supports you even though His church may not!
Doing the Right Thing Too Long
I
know we have covered a lot of ground, but let me share some final
things with you in closing. God’s desire and mine is that every husband
and wife enjoys each other to the fullest. Marriages are very special
before the Lord, but the people in the marriages are even more special.
There
are some couples who are enjoying their marriage. There are also many
couples who find their marriage like an anchor around their neck pulling
them under water for the third time. A proper marriage is very
wonderful and very beautiful; however, it is possible to stay married
and be doing the “right thing” too long. The story of God testing
Abraham to sacrifice his only son Isaac is a good example of this:
The Lord told Abraham to “...Take ...your only son Isaac, whom you love and go ...and offer him there as a burnt offering...” (Genesis 22:2). So Abraham listened to God and tied up Isaac and placed him upon an alter that he made. “And
Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But
the Angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, ‘Abraham,
Abraham ...DO NOT LAY YOUR HAND ON THE LAD, OR DO ANYTHING TO HIM; for
now I know that you fear God, since you have not withheld your son, your
only son, from me’” (Genesis 22:10-12).
What
if Abraham missed the Lord’s voice telling him to STOP THE SACRIFICE?
What if Abraham had kept doing the last thing he was supposed to do?
Isaac would have been dead! If we miss the Word of God or the voice of
God and continue in a marriage longer than we’re supposed to, we too,
can become a sacrifice that was not intended. God does not want us to be
a “sacrificial victim” for the “sake of the marriage.” Just as God told
Abraham to stop the sacrifice of his son, so God speaks to us who are
in dead marriages to stop being a sacrificial victim for the sake of the
marriage institution. Jesus Himself said to those who esteemed the
institution to be greater than those who make up the institution, “...IF
ONLY YOU HAD KNOWN WHAT THIS SAYING MEANS, I desire [to have] mercy
...RATHER THAN ...[to have] sacrificial victims, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE
CONDEMNED THE GUILTLESS” (Matthew 12:7 AMP).
Many
good books have been written that deal with how to promote and build
strong marriages. Thank God for them; we need them. However, there are
very few books that deal with the “need to divorce.” We must not view
the divorce of a bad marriage as an end of something good, because it is
not. If the marriage were good, there wouldn’t be any divorce. It’s the
end of something that went bad, and the BEGINNING of something new.
http://www.divorcehope.com/christiandivorcefacts.htm
In MOST
cases, divorce and remarriage is NOT sin at all, and never was! A
biblical divorce is not sin. A biblical remarriage is not sin. This is
because divorce and remarriage are not sin in themselves — nor have they
ever been!
.
Sanctified (Holy) Spouse Doing Unholy Things?
Whether a Christian marriage is equally yoked or
unequally yoked, God's command to us is always the same; “...MAN OF GOD
...PURSUE RIGHTEOUSNESS, GODLINESS, faith, love, patience, gentleness”
(1Timothy 6:11). As we do this, “...the unbelieving husband is
SANCTIFIED by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is SANCTIFIED by the
husband; otherwise, your children would be unclean, but now THEY ARE
HOLY” (1Corinthians 7:14).
To
be “sanctified” simply means that there is a process of cleaning up
going on in a person’s life by God that causes them to be separated from
that which is not like Himself and being made into that which is like
Himself. (Actually, the words sanctified, separated, holy and hallowed
that are used in the Bible are basically the same Greek word. They mean
the same thing.) Because the “unbelieving husband is sanctified by the
wife,” the wife must be sanctified herself and because the “unbelieving
wife is sanctified by the husband,” would mean the husband must be
sanctified himself. And if the “children would be unclean [unholy], but
now they are holy,” a mother or father MUST be serving God. Between the
husband and wife, one being a Christian and the other a non-Christian,
someone must give their whole life to God for Him to make the rest of
the family holy. I have heard it said all too often that when a husband
lives ungodly and the wife wants to live godly, that the wife must stay
with her spouse and do whatever he tells her to do no matter what it is
because he is the head even to the point of not serving God. How
ridiculous! The wife is seeking for a way out of a bad situation, but is
only sentenced back to her prison by “holy men of God.” They want to
serve God with all their heart, only to find out they must bear the
heavy yoke again. Many times this situation ends in tragedy and the
so-called “glory” is given to God. Then the spouse who wants to live
godly ends up as a “slave of man” instead of a “slave of righteousness.”
Slaves Of Men Or Slaves Of Righteousness?
“But
if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister IS NOT
UNDER BONDAGE IN SUCH CASES. But God has called us to peace”
(1Corinthians 7:15).
Notice
the word “bondage” in verse 15. The word in the Greek text is “douloo,”
which is the same word for “slave,” or “to be enslaved.” Most clearly,
when one is in bondage, they are a slave to whomever or whatever has
them bound.
Let’s read verse 15 from the Wuest translation: ”But assuming that the
unbelieving husband departs, let him be departing. A [CHRISTIAN] BROTHER
OR [CHRISTIAN] SISTER IS NOT IN THE POSITION OF A SLAVE, NAMELY, BOUND
TO THE UNBELIEVING HUSBAND OR UNBELIEVING WIFE IN AN INDISSOLUABLE UNION
IN CASES SUCH AS THESE; but God has called us [to live] in peace”
(1Corinthians 7:15 WUEST).
Notice
the “peace” in this case, comes from a separation, not a union. “...God
has called us [to live] in peace” (1Corinthians 7:15b). A home that has
become a war zone because of two opposing hearts that have been tied
together is not peaceful. Being at peace is having the same heart.
Again, the Scripture says that a Christian brother or sister “is not in
the position of a slave” and goes on to say that they ARE NOT “bound to
the unbelieving husband or unbelieving wife in an indissoluble union in
cases such as these.” Which means, if we stayed in a situation such as
this, we would actually become a slave. And if we become a slave, then
someone would have to be the master! You can’t be a slave without having
a master over you. And you can’t be in bondage, without someone or
something binding you. THE SLAVE ALWAYS PORTRAYS THE MASTER’S DESIRE.
If
a godly spouse continues to live with an ungodly spouse, the godly
spouse will most likely eventually portray ungodliness, which is also
reflected by them not growing in God. This is why Jesus bought us with a
price, “...so you DO NOT become slaves of men ...[but] slaves of
righteousness” (Romans 6:18, 1Corinthians 7:23).
The
book of James says, “Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter
from the same opening? Thus, NO SPRING YIELDS BOTH SALT WATER AND FRESH”
(James 3:11,12b). This is a Bible principle. When sin (salt water), is
mixed with holiness (fresh water), that which was holy becomes corrupted
and sinful. Thus, no spring yields BOTH salt water and fresh. When
polluted water is mixed with clean water, the clean ALWAYS becomes
polluted.
The
“slave” living under the “master” and the “fresh water” being mixed
with the “salt water” is the godly spouse being polluted by the ways and
actions of the ungodly spouse. The godly spouse will become a slave and
polluted. Good apples in a bushel do not make the rotten apples better.
The good become rotten. God is always saying, “come out of her my
people, lest YOU share in her sins, and lest YOU receive of her plagues”
(Revelation 18:4). “DO NOT BE DECEIVED: “EVIL COMPANY CORRUPTS GOOD
HABITS. AWAKE TO RIGHTEOUSNESS, AND DO NOT SIN; FOR SOME DO NOT HAVE THE
KNOWLEDGE OF GOD” (1Corinthians 15:33,34).
http://www.divorcehope.com/biblicaldivorceandremarriage.htm
Can Divorced Christians Remarry? Absolutely!
Can
divorced christians remarry? Yes, of course! Forbidding someone to
remarry after they're divorced is bad doctrine. Marriage after being
divorced is our heavenly Father's heart! (Take notice of a wrong
translation of only one single word (apoluo) that puts a divorced person
in bondage.)
Divorce and Remarriage
“Now
the Spirit [of God] expressly says that in latter times [the days we
live in now] some will DEPART FROM THE FAITH, giving heed to deceiving
spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies ...FORBIDDING TO MARRY…” (1Timothy 4:1,3).
“Forbidding [someone] to marry”
after they have been divorced is a doctrine of the devil. The Bible is
not saying that these people who hold to this belief are not true
Christians, but that they teach out of ignorance — they don't understand
God's heart in the Scriptures. Understanding God's heart only comes
from the Holy Spirit revealing Him to us. Whenever we do not understand
God's heart in the Scriptures, we have departed from sound doctrine.
This
Scripture could not be talking about forbidding to marry in general.
Nobody would listen to such nonsense preached. The desire that God put
in man to have a companion and sexual partner is too great, especially
if they were married before. In order that we don’t fall into “...sexual immorality, let EACH MAN have his own wife, and let EACH WOMAN have her own husband” (1Corinthians 7:2). “[For] IT IS NOT GOOD THAT MAN SHOULD BE ALONE…” (Genesis 2:18a).
The
erroneous doctrine of forbidding one to marry after a divorce has been
preached and taught in many churches. It has violated the conscience and
hearts of those who’ve been divorced, driving them into a constant
state of confusion and negatively impacting their lives. The only way
for these people to come out of that confused state is to leave the
church, and many have done just that. Not only do they leave the church
to remarry, they also need to be able to make the right decision to
divorce when it’s necessary in order to save themselves and their
families before all is destroyed.
In
order to understand that there IS marriage after divorce, we will
examine the Scriptures in Matthew 19:3-12 focusing on the usage of the
Greek word, apoluo. The Greek word apoluo that’s translated “divorce” or
“to put away” is a general word. Its primary usage is: to “send” (apoluo)
someone home when it’s getting late.11 When two people are leaving each
other there is a “separation.” Apoluo is a separation in general, which
does not involve the “legal” aspect of a permanent separation like a
divorce. The common usage is seen in the Scripture “When it was
evening, His disciples came to Him, saying ‘This is a deserted place,
and the hour is already late. SEND (apoluo) the multitudes away, that
they may go unto the villages and buy themselves food’” (Matthew
14:15). The Greek word apoluo doesn’t have a legal aspect to it. It’s
just a common word that means, “I’m going to go” or, “away from, to
separate.” Because of our wrong beliefs about divorce, this key word was
purposely translated (incorrectly) so it would not conflict with our
beliefs.
When
used concerning a marriage it means a separation and NOT a divorce. If a
spouse separates intending never to return, then the next step comes
into play; the spouse obtains a “certificate of divorce.” This is
what the confrontation between Jesus and the Pharisees (the religious
lawyers of His day) was about in Matthew 19:3-12. The legal question
was, “Do you just separate, OR do you separate AND give a certificate of
divorce?” The Greek word used for divorce in these Scriptures means, to
“send away” or separate from, NOT a finalized legal divorce.
The
lawyers of God’s law tested Jesus. Their motive was to justify when
they only separated from their wives and remarried without ever getting a
divorce. They asked Him if God accepts a separation to get remarried
without a divorce certificate for just any reason. Jesus responded that
when a male and female come together in a marriage union, “...they are
no longer two BUT ONE…” (Matthew 19:6a). Because the couple is still
united, He doesn’t want “man” (the marriage partners) to just separate
from each other and get remarried without a divorce. A SEPARATION ALONE
DOES NOT BREAK THE MARRIAGE UNION. IT TAKES A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE,
ALSO. So the question was NOT, “Can a spouse DIVORCE their mate for any
reason,” but “Can a spouse get a SEPARATION from their mate for any
reason and then remarry while just separated.”
When
a husband just leaves his wife for another woman without ever giving
her a certificate of divorce, this keeps the wife in limbo. She could
not go back to her husband because he doesn’t want her; and she couldn’t
“go and become another man’s wife” as Moses commanded because she is
not legally divorced (See Deuteronomy 24:1-2). If she did remarry
without a legal divorce, she and the man who married her would be
committing adultery. This is why Jesus said, “...whoever separates
(apoluo) from his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries
another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is [just]
separated (apoluo) commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9 My Translation).
Because
the Pharisees’ hearts were so hard “They said to Him [Jesus], ‘WHY then
did Moses COMMAND to give a certificate of divorce AND to put her away
[separate]?’” (Matthew 19:7). They agreed with the part of the law that
said that you could leave your wife, but they didn’t understand that it
was not right to keep their wives from getting remarried. A spouse with a
hardened heart will not give the other spouse a divorce. They will want
to control the person. A person who truly loves unconditionally will
always give you a way out: an option not to love.
So
it is with God; He always gives us the choice to not love Him. As we
choose to love Him, it’s true love. At times the reason a marriage isn’t
a truly unconditional loving marriage is because the partners feel that
there is never a way out, if needed. If the marriage partners knew that
there was a godly way to escape from a failing marriage it would give
the couple the freedom to “choose to love,” even when it’s not
convenient.
Jesus
said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, PERMITTED
you to divorce [separate from] your wives, but from the beginning IT
[being separated without a divorce] WAS NOT SO” (Matthew 19:8). Notice
in verse seven that Moses COMMANDED them to give a certificate of
divorce AND to separate (put away) their wives. But in verse eight,
because their hearts were so hardened against their spouse, Moses
PERMITTED them to just separate without the husband giving the wife a
certificate of divorce. The reason Moses commanded that a certificate of
divorce be given was to guarantee that the wife could get remarried.
Simply, Moses commanded to give a certificate of divorce AND to
separate. But because of the hardness of their hearts, Moses permitted
them to separate only. The permission to separate and remarry without a
divorce was limited to sexual immorality. If the wife was unfaithful,
the husband could leave without ever being “officially divorced” — by
giving her a certificate of divorcement, and go take another woman as
his wife. But if there was no sexual immorality involved, the husband
could NOT separate from his wife without getting a divorce first. If he
didn’t get a divorce and went to live with another woman or got
remarried, they were committing adultery.
“Are
you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed [for selfish reasons].
Are you loosed [divorced] from a wife? [In my opinion says Paul, the
Apostle] do not seek a wife. BUT EVEN IF YOU DO MARRY, YOU HAVE NOT
SINNED; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned” (1Corinthians
7:26-28a). Notice that the “virgin” AND the person “loosed [divorced]”
are both put in the same category — they have “not sinned” by getting
married. BOTH THE PERSON WHO WAS NEVER MARRIED AND THE PERSON WHO WAS
DIVORCED ARE WITHOUT SIN IF THEY MARRY.
Deuteronomy
24:1-4 tells of a situation where a man married a woman and then
divorced her. This woman then married another man. The Scriptures go on
to state that if the second marriage ends by her husband writing “...her a certificate of divorce ...OR if the latter husband dies…”
(Deuteronomy 24:3,4), she could not remarry the first man she divorced
because she had already married someone else. Therefore, if our spouse
dies, or if we were divorced, we can get married again. Divorce and
death are equal before God. The only stipulation in this Scripture is
that if this is the second marriage, we cannot go back to the first
spouse and remarry them because we married someone else after we
divorced them.
The Hebrew word: shalach is the equivalent of the Greek word: apoluo.
http://www.divorcehope.com/canchristiansremarryafterdivorce.htm
Having divorce
grounds because of marriage abuse is a serious matter! When there is
abuse going on in a relationship, it's time to separate. Divorcing is
definitely grounds if needed.
Abuse
Abuse
in its different manifestations is the most destructive tool that can
be used by anyone against another person. It is designed to distort a
person’s view of reality and of God, thus keeping that person from
having a fruitful life. When there is abuse going on in a relationship,
it’s time to separate. It doesn’t matter how holy or good the person
seems who is doing the violating.
There
are different types of abuse and they are all designed for one thing
and one thing only, DESTRUCTION! I believe all types of abuse can be put
into one of these categories:
Physical Abuse: which is body torture that is used to subdue and control another person.
Sexual
Abuse: torturing both a person physically and emotionally using
unlawful sex acts as the weapon, i.e. prostitution, adultery, incest,
homosexuality, rape, marriage rape, anything immoral or illegal
sexually.
Verbal
Abuse: designed to distort the truth a person holds about something or
someone, including themselves in order to gain control over someone’s
mind.
Spiritual
(religious) Abuse: used to manipulate another person to serve any other
god than Jesus while many times exalting the abuser. At its worse, it’s
satanic ritual abuse, which many times include all the other categories
of abuse.
Most
sadly, all these types of abuses deeply scar the emotions of a person
and usually greatly alters their perception and their ability to live
life to its fullest. But there is hope. His name is Jesus. He has come
to heal the broken-hearted.
If
you have been abused and are hurt deeply inside, there is hope,
healing, and full restoration. If you will yield your heart to the Holy
Spirit sent from God to be our helper, He will lead you through every
traumatic situation that you have been through into wholeness. The
process is painful. However, on the other side of each “door of pain” is
a place of joy, peace and rest.
The
Holy Spirit works through the Word of God (the Bible). Which means, you
must diligently give yourself to study of the Bible daily, surround
yourself with godly people, turn your ears and eyes away from the
secular media including TV, radio, movies, books and the like, and turn
all of your heart over to Jesus, He will tenderly minister life to you
instead of death. Share the pain of your heart with Him while searching
the Scriptures for the answers. As you’re doing that, turn your eyes and
ears to godly Christian books, tapes, videos, TV, radio stations and
music that God can use to administer healing to your heart. (You heard
it said, “Eat the hay and leave the sticks?” There is a lot of christian
stuff out there that has a lot of ‘sticks’. Pick through them until you
find a good hay mound.”) As you do these things you will gradually and
continually become a whole, hurt-free, peaceful and joyful person. You
will even start to like yourself. And how good that will feel!
For another article, click on Verbal Abuse, Marriage And Relationship.
http://www.divorcehope.com/abuseinmarriage.htm
A person can actually
get married for the wrong reasons---even christians. To absolutely stay
single after a divorce or in a wrong marriage is not God's heart nor
Scriptural. (However, we do recognize that most marriage failures are
due to selfishness or ignorance on the part of one or both of the
spouses.) Because the original meaning of the Scriptures have been lost
regarding marriage after divorce, many have been driven away from the
church and God.
Staying in a Marriage for the Wrong Reasons
“For
how do you know, O wife, whether YOU will save your husband? Or how do
you know, O husband, whether YOU will save your wife?” (1Corinthians 7:16).
The
implication is that we can actually continue to stay married for the
wrong reasons. The emphasis here is whether YOU will save your spouse.
For when we think we can do God’s job to pressure someone to become a
Christian or believe the way we believe, we are in grave danger. For NO
ONE can come to Jesus “unless the FATHER ...draws Him...” (John 6:44).
For we can actually be trying to lead someone to the Lord and be out of
God’s will because it may not be OUR place or the right time. (However,
we are always to be an example of who God is, and what He stands for;
not to be slaves, imprisoned by the threats and or beatings of ungodly
men.)
The
word “save” also means to deliver, heal, restore to proper order, or to
make whole. The idea to save is often found in new marriages where one
of the partners “thinks” that they can change the other or cause them to
be free of some sort of problem such as drugs, rage, alcohol, or crime.
But after much pain they find out it doesn’t normally work that way. It
takes God to change a person’s heart and to free them from such things.
The
Wuest translation put it this way: For “ONLY as the Lord has assigned
to each one his lot [in life], as God has called each one, IN THAT WAY
let him be ordering his manner of life...” (1Corinthians 7:17). Many
have taken this Scripture to mean that the spouse that wants to walk
with God is supposed to submit to the ungodliness of the other spouse.
This is foolishness!
The
real questions for this Scripture are, “what has the LORD assigned to
each of us as our lot in life? As we walk in that assignment, how shall
we order our manner of living?” The answer to both of these questions
must culminate into this one thing. “Be holy, for I am holy” (1Peter
1:16).
Some
have even said that if a wife for instance, is in a bad marriage,
whether they’re being abused or however their husband is treating them,
that that is their lot from God. This is nothing but foolishness and
stupidity in its purest sense. They don’t know it’s the “...GOODNESS OF
GOD [that] leads you to repentance” (Romans 2:4). An abusive type of
environment in the home is just not good. A healthy home environment is
brought about by seeking “...those things which are above, where Christ
is...” (Colossians 3:1).
How
can a person live a godly life and at the same time submit that life to
someone who practices ungodliness? “For either he will hate the one and
love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the
other...” (Matthew 6:24). You cannot love the Lord your God with all
your heart while lowering and yielding yourself and your children to
accept, partake and participate in things that the Lord Himself detests.
What
has the Lord assigned as our lot in life? Surely it can’t be a life you
hate so much you want to die to escape the pain. No! The Scriptures are
so powerfully clear. Let’s take a look:
For
“...we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: ‘I will dwell
in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they shall be my
people. Therefore COME OUT FROM AMONG THEM AND BE SEPARATE, says the
Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you! I will be a
father to you and you shall be my sons and daughters, says the Lord
Almighty. THEREFORE, HAVING THESE PROMISES, beloved, let us cleanse
ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting
holiness in the fear of God” (2Corinthians 6:16b-17:1).
If
that’s not powerful enough, the Scripture also says to, “Let love be
without hypocrisy. ABHOR WHAT IS EVIL. CLING TO WHAT IS GOOD” (Romans
12:9).
How
could you not hate evil, and truly love, at the same time? That is
hypocritical love. Hypocritical love does not hate evil. It allows evil
to dwell beside it in its own home. Love MUST hate evil to be true in
itself. Let our love be WITHOUT hypocrisy. Otherwise, it’s not love at
all, but bondage. And for one to “cling” to that which is good, one must
at the same time separate from that which is evil. As we move closer to
that which is good, there is always a moving away from that which is
evil. TRUE LOVE ALWAYS HATES EVIL!
It
says in Proverbs 3:6, “IN ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He shall
direct your paths.” How can we, in all our ways acknowledge God and
receive direction, if we are united to a spouse who does not want to
follow God’s ways and doesn’t want us to either? The marriage will
produce constant strife. God wants us to live in peace.
See also that Marriage Covenants (Vows) are NOT Undissolvable.
http://www.divorcehope.com/christianremarriageafterdivorce.htm
The belief and
teaching that adultery is always grounds for divorce, is not true! It
CAN be grounds for divorce. However, adultery is not a MANDATORY reason
for getting a divorce as we shall see.
Adultery, Grounds for Divorce?
Again,
the Son of God confronted the hardness of heart of the religious
leaders. This time, they dragged into the temple (the church building)
someone’s wife who was caught in the very act of adultery. (I wonder why
the man wasn’t brought in, too?) This incident took place in John
8:1-11.
After
the accusations and indictments have been hurled out, Jesus said, “He
who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first” (John
8:7). Jesus then stooped down again and wrote in the dirt. When He stood
up, every one of her accusers were gone, and not a stone was thrown. He
said to her, “‘Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one
condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord’. And Jesus said to her,
‘Neither do I condemn you; GO and sin no more’” (John 8:10-11).
Go
where? Go back to her husband and be the kind of wife that God wants
her to be. Jesus did not say that adultery was grounds for divorce. He
did not even tell her to make it right with her husband, even though she
may have been convicted to do just that. But Jesus did say, “Neither do
I condemn you; GO AND SIN NO MORE” (John 8:11).
The
religious leaders said that she should be stoned to death for adultery,
NOT DIVORCED! There were different adultric situations in applying the
law to have her stoned. The stoning punishment that they applied was for
a man and woman caught in the act, and a “betrothed damsel” — an
engaged young lady. This was spelled out in Deuteronomy 22:24 and
Leviticus 20:10. It appeared that Jesus applied the law of Numbers
5:11-31 because this woman was “another man’s wife”. In this case the
wife was to be taken to the Priest. The curses were pronounced and
written down regarding her supposed sinfulness. She was then to drink a
certain mixture prepared by the Priest and then to say, “Amen, so be
it”. She was then able to leave and the punishment was left up to God
according to what was written. This is probably why Jesus was writing in
the dirt — the curses of the sin. But Jesus showed mercy. Even though
there are consequences, He wanted to forgive and to cleanse.
ADULTERY
IS NOT A MANDATORY REASON FOR A DIVORCE. If it were, that would mean
that we could, according to Jesus, divorce our spouse if they only
committed the act of adultery in their heart. Jesus said, “You have
heard that it was said to those of old, ‘you shall not commit adultery.’
But I say to you that WHOEVER LOOKS AT A WOMAN TO LUST for her HAS
ALREADY COMMITTED ADULTERY WITH HER IN HIS HEART” (Matthew 5:27, 28). If this were the case, every man would probably have been stoned to death.
http://www.divorcehope.com/adulterygroundsfordivorce.htm
t's a half-truth that
"God hates (ALL) divorce." God Himself calls for divorces. God does not
desire His people to be in a bad or wrong marriage. If the couple will
do what is necessary to have a godly marriage and friendship, great!
Otherwise, divorce and remarriage is a way to get a new start.
God Hates Marriage?
Have
you ever heard anyone say, “God hates marriage”? Of course not! Have
you ever heard anyone say, “God hates divorce”? Sure we have, especially
when they are not the ones faced with that dilemma. The phrase, “God
hates divorce” has been used against married couples as a blanket answer
to cover all types of marriage problems. As we will find out from God’s
Word, that is just not true. Neither is it true that “God hates
marriage.” On the contrary, God is the one who instituted marriage
between a man and a woman. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
Even
though God instituted marriage, He does not approve of ALL marriages.
This can be clearly seen in the lives of the people of Israel written in
Ezra, chapter 9 and 10, and Deuteronomy 7:15. In Ezra, God disapproved
of the marriages and His judgment was on them until they corrected the
situation by divorcing their spouses and even separating from their
children that were born from those marriages. In Deuteronomy, God said, “NOR SHALL YOU MAKE MARRIAGES WITH THEM. For they will turn your sons away from following Me” (Deuteronomy 7:3,4). In this situation, God hated these kind of marriages!
When
people say, “God hates divorce” as quoted from Malachi 2:16, normally
that has been taught to mean that divorce is not allowed AT ALL. We
shall see that this is only a half-truth.
In
Jeremiah the eighth chapter, Jeremiah mourns over the inhabitants of
Jerusalem. The Lord gave them a warning through the prophet in verses
4-22. In verse 5, it says that they were “...in a perpetual backsliding [condition]” and in verse 9 that “...they have rejected the Word of the Lord.” Our wrong motives and attitudes will always reject “the Word of the Lord.”
Because their motives and attitudes toward God and people were so bad, God said in verse 10, “Therefore I WILL GIVE THEIR WIVES TO OTHERS, AND THEIR FIELDS TO THOSE WHO WILL INHERIT THEM.” Notice
God’s attitude concerning the marriage. The marriage itself was not
first priority, but second. God did not save the marriage, but broke it
up because of their continual disobedience. There is a curse that
actually comes upon the marriage relationship because of continual
disobedience to God (See Deuteronomy 28:30).
DIVORCE ITSELF IS NOT WHAT GOD HATES, BUT THE “WHY,” AND “HOW COME” BEHIND THE DIVORCE.
http://www.divorcehope.com/godhatesmarriage.htm
