Christian Husband Wife Submission - Submit

The key to christian husband wife submission is, to submit to that which is ONLY of the Lord and resisting that which is of the devil.


 Submission To Spouse
Submission to our spouse is never greater than our submission to God. Some people actually think God gives us the liberty to have another god before us. That is just not so (See Exodus 20:3). We must always submit to God first. He knows what decisions to make. As we submit to God and to one another He uses these situations to mature us, to bless us, and to reveal our own weaknesses. This results in our seeking Him all the more. “For when I am weak, THEN I am strong” (2Corinthians 12:10b).

There are all kinds of daily situations where one must submit to another. Husbands and wives need to make decisions daily about certain things. These decisions are not always to separate the good from the evil, but deciding what’s the best thing to do in a particular situation.
For example, we may need a car, but what kind? How much do we spend? These kinds of situations are where we grow together as husband and wife while submitting to one another. We must gain understanding of what kind of car fits our needs so we can make a wise decision. At times it is not always clear which course of action to take. This is where praying together in agreement comes in — seeking Gods heart together. Even though a better automobile may be needed, which one is the right one for us?
Suppose the wife felt in her heart that God said, “THIS car is the one”. But the husband isn’t sure which car to get. What could happen next? The husband could override his wife and say no, or the husband could trust the Lord through his wife and submit to her after they talked it out, even as Abraham submitted to his wife, Sarah (See Genesis 21:12). In these kinds of daily decisions, IT’S BETTER FOR THE HUSBAND AND WIFE TO BE IN AGREEMENT AND SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER EVEN IF IT’S THE WRONG CHOICE. The choice could be wrong because of a lack of knowledge. It is better to submit to each other, instead of not being in agreement, which causes strife. It is God’s heart to make right a wrong situation when the couple is in agreement seeking Him even if they did make the wrong choice. It is God’s heart to make right a wrong situation when the couple is in agreement seeking Him even if they did make the wrong choice. It is better to be in agreement and make a wrong choice with a clean conscience than for one spouse to disagree and make the “right” choice and be in constant strife. “For where envy and self-seeking [strife] exist, CONFUSION AND EVERY EVIL THING ARE THERE” (James 3:16).



Having God's Heart In Submission

When we submit to someone, we are actually submitting to the Christ in them or the satan in them. Let me clarify. In each verse of Scripture we just read concerning submitting to another, there are commands to submit only to that which is of God: That which does not violate the Word of God, our conscience, or that which God has dealt with us about in our own personal lives concerning His purpose for us. When we know we haven’t violated the Word of God, we have a clean conscience and our heart is open and receptive before Him. We know we have then properly submitted, even if the spouse doesn’t agree. We are not to make gods of others in our attitude of submission. God is jealous for that position alone (See Exodus 20:4,5). The Church seems to have forgotten that God doesn’t want us to have any other gods before us, no matter what form they come in, even if they are our husbands and wives.
Many times we are placed in a position where we must submit to the one God has in authority over us. They may be arrogant or belligerent, but this is where we as Christians are called to grow. These times are to teach us humility, to give us opportunity to expand the character of God in us, and to be a visible witness of who and what God is like. God uses all these character defects in us to build more patience, to grow fruits of kindness, to destroy pride and to grow in us all those virtues of Jesus. We do not want to escape these kinds of situations. God wants us to pray our way THROUGH them so WE will be changed. Perhaps then, we may be able to help the one with the speck in their eye (See Matthew 7:3,4)

 http://www.divorcehope.com/husbandwifesubmissionsubmitmarriage.htm

Divorce is NOT sin! It's the motive behind divorce that makes it sin.

Jesus did it all

 

 

 

 

Divorce is NOT sin!
It's the motive behind divorce that makes it sin.

A divorce from a bad marriage is God's love to you. God is for remarriage and wants you to have a good marriage, not a bad marriage! 

 Is it the Method or the Motive Behind the Method?

 
Does God hate divorce because of divorce itself, or does He hate the perverted motive that men use behind this method to save?
There is both a right or wrong motive and attitude behind every action. It is no different with divorce. For example, the tenth commandment says, “You shall not covet...” (Exodus 20:17). Is this something that God hates? Sure it is. But is it the things themselves that we covet that are wrong, such as nice clothes, a good car, a decent place to live, healthy food to eat, or is it the motive that says, “I want what you have?”

Proverbs 6:16-19 mentions things the Lord hates, such as:
“a proud look.” Is it the “look” that’s wrong, or the perverted motive that exalts self behind the look?
“a lying tongue.” Is it the “spoken words” that are bad or the heart motive to cover up truth?
“hands that shed innocent blood.” Is it the “act of self defense” by killing another person, or the manifestation of hate to murder for selfish motive?
“one who sows discord among brethren.” Is it the “sowing of seeds,” or is it that the seeds are seeds of division instead of seeds of unity?
Does God hate divorce when it is used to save one or both of the spouses out of a dying marriage so they can get a new start with Him? Or does God hate divorce when the motive comes from a heart that is self-seeking — wanting to push aside the marriage partner He gave them, for “something better.” (See Malachi 2:11-16)


There is a Divorce that God Approves of and One He Hates

The divorce that God approves of is one of His major surgical procedures to save the people of the marriage (but not necessarily the marriage itself). But it has been turned into something detestable and abhorred. And because of this, many husbands and wives will live life with no joy, dead hearts, and guilt from not divorcing just to save the marriage, but themselves being lost because they were kept from a surgical operation they so desperately needed. 

Instead of attempting to save the people of the marriage, we want to save the marriage, and forget about the ones who make up the marriage. That’s like trying to save a burning building and not caring to rescue the people who work in the building. Do we save the people of the marriage, or do we save the marriage itself for the sake of the marriage? GOD’S FIRST PRIORITY IS THE INDIVIDUAL, AND THEN THE INSTITUTION THESE INDIVIDUAL’S MAKE UP. If we try to save the marriage, we will probably lose the couple. But if we try to save the couple first, we have a very good chance to save the marriage, but more importantly, we will save one or both of the couple. 

When people say, “God hates divorce” as quoted from Malachi 2:16, normally that has been taught to mean that divorce is not allowed AT ALL. We shall see that this is only a half-truth.
In Jeremiah the eighth chapter, Jeremiah mourns over the inhabitants of Jerusalem. The Lord gave them a warning through the prophet in verses 4-22. In verse 5, it says that they were “...in a perpetual backsliding [condition]” and in verse 9 that “...they have rejected the Word of the Lord.” Our wrong motives and attitudes will always reject “the Word of the Lord.”

Because their motives and attitudes toward God and people were so bad, God said in verse 10, “Therefore I WILL GIVE THEIR WIVES TO OTHERS, AND THEIR FIELDS TO THOSE WHO WILL INHERIT THEM.” Notice God’s attitude concerning the marriage. The marriage itself was not first priority, but second. God did not save the marriage, but broke it up because of their continual disobedience. There is a curse that actually comes upon the marriage relationship because of continual disobedience to God. (See Deuteronomy 28:30). 

For He said, “...I will give their wives to OTHERS...” (Jeremiah 8:10a). “Others” means other marriage partners. Remember: GOD’S PRIORITY IS TO SAVE THE PEOPLE OF THE MARRIAGE, NOT NECESSARILY THE MARRIAGE ITSELF. God is the one who broke these marriages up. I believe that the husbands were just as cruel to their wives as they were to the Lord. God didn’t even ask the husbands for a Divorce Certificate. He just had another country come and take over. DIVORCE ITSELF IS NOT WHAT GOD HATES, BUT THE “WHY,” AND “HOW COME” BEHIND THE DIVORCE.


http://www.divorcehope.com/motivebehinddivorce.htm

Which "Divorce" Does God Hate? Does God Really "Hate Divorce"?

A remarriage or to remarry after divorce is the will of God! When God said, "I hate PUTTING AWAY," He NEVER meant divorce, but to SEPARATE. Meaning, divorce was good when needed. God never hated divorce, it was "something" else He hated.



 To Which Situation Did God Say, "I Hate Putting Away (Divorce)?"

We have heard this Scripture: “the Lord God of Israel says that HE HATES DIVORCE” (Malachi 2:16). This is almost always quoted as if God hates all divorces in general. But that’s just not true. We have previously read from the Bible books of Ezra, Nehemiah, Jeremiah, Deuteronomy and 1Corinthians that God is not against divorce. Then why all the confusion concerning why God said that “He hates divorce?” The reason for the confusion is because there are TWO “kinds” of marriages and TWO “divorces” being mentioned in the Malachi 2:11-16 passage.

The “divorces” were not official divorces; they didn’t need to be. They were already previously married and “unofficially” married again. The Hebrew word shalach means “putting away”― a separation, as correctly translated in most Bibles. However, the King James and a number of newer versions have incorrectly translated shalach as to mean: divorce. It never meant divorce and it doesn’t mean divorce. The word was most likely translated as “divorce” to fit what was taught in the church. Shalach is just a common word used throughout the Old Testament which means to: go, separate or to send. That’s it!

So why did God angrily say that He “…hated putting away [a separation]?” “…Because you have not kept My ways [concerning marriage, divorce and remarriage] but have SHOWN PARTIALITY IN THE LAW” (Malachi 2:9). The Law specifically stated that when a man got a divorce from his wife that he was to write “…her a CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE, put it in her hand, AND [shalach] send her out [put her away]…” (Deuteronomy 24:1). God also commanded them not to marry anyone who did not serve him ― who served a foreign god (See Nehemiah 13:25-30).

Instead, men separated from their wives without ever giving them a Certificate of Divorce and then illegally married someone else. This is why the Lord said that they were still “their wife by covenant.” The marriage covenant had never been dissolved by the Divorce Certificate.

“The Lord’s holy institution which He loves...the Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth ...[and] SHE [STILL] IS YOUR COMPANION AND YOUR WIFE BY COVENANT. For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce [shalach], [separating without a Certificate of Divorce].... He has [illegally] married the daughter of a foreign god. May the Lord cut off ...the man who does this being awake and aware” (Malachi 2:11,12a,14b,c,16a).

Because these men had remarried illegally ― separated from their wives without giving them a Certificate of Divorce, they were in adultery as Jesus stated: “Furthermore it has been said, “Whoever PUTS AWAY [separates from {apoluo}] his wife, LET HIM GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE. But I say to you that whoever PUTS AWAY [separates and remarries without being divorced from] his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery: and whoever marries a woman who is PUT AWAY [separated without being divorced {apoluo}] commits adultery” (Matthew 5:31-32). (The Lord never forgot about the Malachi incident when He came to earth to redeem lost man).

The Old Testament Hebrew word shalach and the New Testament Greek word apoluo are equivalent which will be discussed later.

Because these disobedient men still had “un-divorced” wives, the Lord did not command them to give their illegal wives a Certificate of Divorce, rather, they simply had to “separate, put them away, [shalach].” SO DID GOD HATE DIVORCE? NO! RATHER, GOD HATED THAT THE HUSBANDS WERE SEPARATING FROM THEIR WIVES WITHOUT GIVING THEM A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE WHICH WOULD ENABLE THEM TO GET REMARRIED. THIS IS WHAT GOD HATES!

The men of Israel were SEPARATING from their wives for self-gratifying reasons. God Himself was a “witness” at their original marriage ceremony which was still in effect. The marriage covenant was never dissolved by a Certificate of Divorce. The men remarried outside their own culture (race) and tribe. God considered the children they bore unholy because of the mixed marriages bringing curses into their families (See Ezra 9:1,2, Nehemiah 13:26-30).

Because of these unauthorized marriages, the Word of God came to Ezra and Nehemiah to have the men and women of Israel who had done this thing, to separate from their spouse and even from their children (See Ezra 9:1, 11-12, 10:3, Nehemiah 13:23-27). In this situation, God’s command was to “put them away, separate yourselves from them!” This was NOT the kind of marriage to which God was saying, “I hate divorce!” He was saying loudly, “Get out of these wrong marriages!”

DIVORCE IS A METHOD TO SEPARATE THE ONE, AND MAKE THEM INTO TWO just as a surgeon’s knife is used to separate the cancerous flesh from the healthy flesh. Both operations are good. Divorce can be used to kill a righteous marriage, just as a surgeon’s knife can be used to kill a healthy person.

The Greek word apoluo: is the equivalent of the Hebrew word: shalach.


There are many critical keys in this book regarding divorce, remarriage, submission, interracial marriage and relationships. Click on Divorce: God's Will? to order.

http://www.divorcehope.com/godhatesdivorce.htm 

The Marriage Institution And The Surgery Of Divorce.

Most of the time divorce is looked at as something terrible. However, there are times when the surgical procedure of divorce is needed to save life. This christian divorce and remarriage book holds the keys from the Bible to release you from the condemnation of man-taught religion. Divorce: God's will? was written from the command of the Lord to set His people free!




 The Marriage Institution
A harmonious marriage between a man and a woman is one of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences one can have. But what happens when that beautiful experience is not so beautiful any longer and the love that was so deep has turned into bitterness of heart and hate? What happens when proper counseling has not brought forth the desired fruit, and the hope of the relationship being restored seems lost? And what happens when our spouse turns their back on God, the only true reconciliator of marriages? Is there still hope after all hope appears to be gone? Yes!
As painful as this may sound when dealing with a marriage, divorcing or “making one into two” is necessary and needed to save and preserve life. To save a person’s life from the destruction of cancer, a surgical separation must take place. To keep our community safe from a known rapist, they must be separated from the community and incarcerated. A rabid animal must be separated so others may not die also. And as painful as it is, there are husbands and wives who are greatly corrupting their spouse and a separation must take place to save and restore them, before both are lost forever..
This book has been written to save those who make up the family, not necessarily to keep a marriage together. The author recognizes that it is priority to save the marriage, but also knows that some marriages are not meant to be saved, and shouldn’t be.
There is a time when the Lord Jesus is our High Priest to bring us together in a marriage; from being two, He makes us one. But there are other times He is our Physician who comes to do surgery as our last resort to bring healing. The surgical procedure of divorce is one of those times.



Who Invented Divorce Anyway?
Divorce and remarriage was never a question with God. For “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, AND HE WRITES HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE, puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and goes AND BECOMES ANOTHER MAN’S WIFE...” (Deuteronomy 24:1, 2).
And again, “Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you LOOSED FROM A WIFE? Do not seek a wife. BUT EVEN IF YOU DO MARRY, YOU HAVE NOT SINNED” (1 Corinthians 7:27, 28a).
There were times when God forbids His people to divorce. There are two situations in Deuteronomy 22:13-30 where God has REMOVED the right to divorce. This means that when needed, the right to divorce has always been there. In these cases that right was abused, so God revoked it. The first instance was when the husband claimed that his new wife was not a virgin, when in fact, she was proved to be so. Because the husband brought a bad name on her, “...He cannot divorce her all his days” (Deuteronomy 22:19b).
The other case was when a man had sex with a single woman who was a virgin. He must pay a fine [the dowry of a bride] to her family, and by having sex with her he has taken her as his wife and “...[Was not] permitted to divorce her all his days” (Deuteronomy 22:29b). But “if her father utterly refuses to give her to him [the marriage would be cancelled]” Exodus 22:16.


There are many critical keys in this book regarding divorce, remarriage, submission, interracial marriage and relationships. Click on Divorce: God's Will? to order. 

http://www.divorcehope.com/marriageinstitution.htm 

Divorced Christians Who Married Again Are NOT In Adultery! (Adultry)

A christian who needs a divorce and considers remarriage will not be in adultery! Divorce from a bad or unrighteous marriage is a right from God to His children. Christians who were divorced and remarried have been wrongly labeled to be in adultery. It's just not true! 



 They Say We Have A Spouse Yet We're Unmarried
We have been incorrectly taught and blindly believe that once a person is divorced, they somehow still have a spouse. They cannot get married again. This lie is designed to keep people in bondage their entire lives. To see how much your mind has been conditioned, answer the following questions: 

If you were divorced or your spouse was deceased, would you still have a mate? Of course not! Let me ask the same question a different way. If you are a woman and your husband was divorced from you or deceased, would you have a husband? And if you are a man and your wife was divorced from you or deceased, would you have a wife? To seek answers to these simple questions may seem silly, but if we have answered them as “Yes”, that’s what we’ve been taught.

We have been told that a person cannot get married once they have been divorced because their spouse is alive, even though after the divorce they don’t have a spouse; but once that spouse dies, they can then get married. In the case of a woman who has been divorced, it is NOT true that their HUSBAND is alive, but it IS true that their FORMER HUSBAND is alive. To put it another way, we were told that we were “bound” (married) to someone when we weren’t. We were quoted that “a wife is BOUND by law as long as her husband lives [that’s if she has one, but a divorced woman doesn’t have a husband]; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1Corinthians 7:39). 

This isolated Scripture was used as an illustration by the Apostle Paul to give an example of when a person dies; they are no longer under the law. Paul was NOT teaching about divorce.
How then can we accept that we have a spouse when we’re not married? When a person is divorced, they don’t have a husband or wife. This means they are not “bound” to someone. This Scripture is for the person who is MARRIED and wants to marry someone else while they are still married to another. You can’t be married to two people at the same time. If you’re divorced, you CAN get married again BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A HUSBAND OR WIFE.

Simply, you’re single or unmarried, if divorced.

“I say to the UNMARRIED and widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I [the Apostle Paul] am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, LET THEM MARRY. FOR IT IS BETTER TO MARRY THAN TO BURN WITH PASSION” (1Corinthians 7:8,9). Who would “burn with passion” the most: the person who was NEVER married, who never knew a close intimate relationship and the pleasures of sex, or the person who had been married? God knows the power and pull that a sexually intimate relationship has on a person once they are separated from their spouse. That’s why He said concerning prayer and fasting, “Do not deprive one another [sexually] except with consent for a time, that you may give yourself to fasting and prayer; AND COME TOGETHER AGAIN SO THAT SATAN DOES NOT TEMPT YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR LACK OF SELF-CONTROL” (1Corinthians 7:5).

Also see Article: Christian Divorce and Remarriage, The Lost Truth.


There are many critical keys in this book regarding divorce, remarriage, submission, interracial marriage and relationships. Click on Divorce: God's Will? to order.


http://www.divorcehope.com/stillmarriedafterdivorce.htm

The Marriage Institution Is Never Greater Then The Man And Woman Who Make Up The Marriage

Divorce: God's will? so clearly reveals from the Bible that God is for divorce when needed. He doesn't want us to live in a bad marriage. He desires remarriage for us. And we do not let Him down if we have been divorced. This book really is from heaven as the author indicated.


 The Marriage Institution Or The Marriage Partners?
Which is greater in God’s eyes: the marriage or the people of the marriage? The priorities in the Church concerning marriage have been greatly misplaced. We have judged the “marriage institution” to be greater than the couples who make up the marriage.
The institution is never greater than those who make up that institution. A company is only as good as its people. A strong and mighty nation is made up of courageous people who will stand up for what is right under any circumstances. Moreover, a great marriage is great because the couple has a great relationship, and nothing less. An institution is only as great as the relationships that make up that institution.
When a couple no longer has a great relationship, the marriage is no longer great. When we care more about our marriage than our marriage partner, we have misplaced the emphasis of our relationship. Being married does not create a great relationship. But having a great relationship creates a great marriage.
When we are faced with the decision of either saving the institution or the people of the institution, the institution must go! And when we are faced with the decision of either saving a marriage or the people of the marriage, the marriage must go! Whether it be the Sabbath day, a company, the ministry, the nation, or a marriage, the people of these institutions are always more important than the institutions themselves. Always!
If we put the institution first, instead of the people, we lose the vision for the institution. The vision of the people makes the institution what it is. Without a vision, failure and collapse are inevitable. When the dreams for the marriage that are in the heart of the husband and wife go out because of a bad relationship, the marriage is on a collision course with a bad situation. But as long as there is vision for the marriage, the marriage will continue. When a married couple loses the vision for the marriage, which is that joy a person possesses in their heart to spend the rest of their days with their mate, it’s hard to rekindle on their own. However, God is able through willing hearts.


There are many critical keys in this book regarding divorce, remarriage, submission, interracial marriage and relationships

http://www.divorcehope.com/peopleinamarriageinstitution.htm 

Transparent Came I

There is a fine line between being transparent and also guarding your heart. It is important to guard your heart. Important to count the costs involved in a possible relationship. However before you even start thinking about relationships, it is important to look deep into yourself and think. First off there are many people out there that you would not choose as a mate. Many different reasons involved in that decision for you.

Most people do not want to hurt someone else when you turn them down. That is a good trait and shows a good heart on your part. It's not personal, it is just that they do not match up. Perhaps spiritually, attractiveness or even materially. There are so many reasons.

Too often we brand ourselves as a reject when someone says, thanks but no thanks to our advances. It is a whole lot more in most cases about what they want, than who you are as a person. If we can look at it as how we feel when we say thanks, but no thanks; then the pain is greatly lessened.

We all have a little game face when it comes to relationships. Whether it is a weak one, a tender one or a harsh one that is meant to protect us. If we see someone that we admire in all ways. How they carry themselves. How they keep in shape and other things that clearly point to that person doing their best and bringing their "A" Game approach in life. Do we also have an "A" game that we are bringing to the table? Or are we just getting by, thinking that is good enough?

Before we start, we need to have the cake baked, out of the oven and the icing on. You don't present a half baked cake to anyone and expect a good response. There will be no acceptance, and quite frankly, you should not expect it.

I am not saying all of this to discourage anyone. Just to help them see that the expectations you have of a mate are close in many ways to what others want too. So if you can not fulfill your own expectations, perhaps you should be a tad more realistic in your own.

Once you take into consideration these two aspects. Your A Game, realistic goals. You can then proceed to approach someone not as concerned if they say yes or no. Instead it is not a thing of rejection, but rather of choice.

It is not as bad as it seems. As a matter of fact look at approaching someone as like doing an interview. No one gets every job. But what most people do, is they learn from each interview. They change things up a tad here and there. Then.... one day the door opens. If you give up from a few doors being closed in regards to a relationship desire, you can never have one. But if you think about how you can approach it better, make yourself more presentable, then there is a chance. A much better chance. It is about choices for them just as it is for you. Look at it that way, instead of a personal branding of rejection on your forehead.

God Bless